she woke up with a sticky ear
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Iโve got a sex swing and lube, heโs not going anywhere soon
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