So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
