I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He kissed a someone with a penis
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
