If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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