I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
