Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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