This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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