I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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