Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do vagina's smell?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
