i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sober January is a disaster.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
