You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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