i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize