remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
