first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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