I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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