i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
