We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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