go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
