Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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