you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
