Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
