he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
