Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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