i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
