Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
