my phone needs a breathalizer
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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