dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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