Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize