But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
