I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
