she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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