i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
