There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
