making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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