lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
