Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
