Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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