i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
