Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
