don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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