Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
