I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
