i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
