Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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