i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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