Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
