i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
