just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
