I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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