butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
