There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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