How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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