so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
