I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
