i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize