your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
