we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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