..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
