ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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