this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize