final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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