YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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