my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
