is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
