whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
